Dear Diary,

The office printer and I are no longer on speaking terms. Today, it chewed up three reports, printed the fourth in hieroglyphics, and then had the audacity to “run out of toner” while I was watching it. I swear it only malfunctions when I need it, it’s basically homophobic.

Meanwhile, HungTee tees never jam. No toner tantrums. No paper cuts. Just smooth cotton, bright slogans, and the soft kind of reliability you only dream about when HR tells you “we’ll circle back.”

The irony? A printer can collapse under the weight of a two-page spreadsheet, but my Finish Him tee? Stays bold, breathable, and completely unbothered, no matter how many meltdowns I put it through. Honestly, if printers were made like our tees, my office would be chaos-free and I’d be… well, unemployed, but happier.

So no, I won’t be replacing the toner. I’m just going to wear HungTee to the office tomorrow. At least one of us should deliver.

Yours in smudged ink and sharp cotton,
Bruce ✍️